Why does it always rain on me

I’m struggling with my mood.
Without going in to too much detail I’m not enjoying work at the moment.
My head has been mangled and as I’ve said many a time I’m a worrier and an over thinker.
I’m struggling to be positive or to look for positives.
I’m tired.
I’m paranoid.
The cracks in the smile are getting bigger.
The time between tears is getting smaller.
I’m struggling and I don’t really know what to do.
I’m not depressed per say, just feeling a bit lost.