Where have the past 5 weeks gone?
How do I have a 5 week old baby? So much has changed in a short space of time… Which it would, I mean, I have had a baby.
So, lets reccount it. I gave birth, had a horrendous infection and retained products. I have been housebound for quite a large amount of time. We have had our ups and down. M has adjusted well. Baby J had a nightmare few weeks, until eventually we went to the doctors last week. Baby J has reflux, or at least that’s what we think. He’s been prescribed baby gaviscon and is a totally different baby now.
He has started smiling and has massive smiles for his big brother. M loves this, although he tends to get in baby J’s face quite a bit requesting he smiles, if no smiles are achieved baby J is subjected to the “pllllleeeeaaaasssseeeeeee” only a child can pull off. To be fair, it usually works.
G has still be working astronomical amounts, it’s made me quite stressed having to constantly dealing with two, but we are finding a rhythm at last. I’m eternally grateful to my mum and dad though who have been having M for sleepovers and making a huge fuss of him. It helps keep me sane and means M is seeing other people too.
How am I? Well, I ended up going to the doctors the same time as baby J. The baby blues was hanging around longer than I’d have liked, but it wasn’t just baby blues. The anxiety started, the nightmares returned and the constant paranoia. The snapping and crying and being unbearable all returned. The black dog made his presence known to me and instead of ignoring him, I confronted him. I’m on sertraline now for post natal depression. It knocked me for six to begin with, I’m not going to lie. It made me so tired yet, unable to sleep. It’s still making me so tired but I’ve at least be able to sleep. I had also massively lost my appetite but that seems to be coming back now. I’m feeling a numb but I’m at least able to deal with all the tasks I need to. That counts for something right?
We finally got around to registering baby J too, so he’s official now. He’s an actual person on the system. It’s taken us so long due to G working so much but at least it’s done.
I’ve also celebrated my birthday. It was lovely, spent with my mum and dad. I was thoroughly spoilt.
This past 5 weeks have been a massive roller coaster of a ride, but I wouldn’t change any of it. My boys are worth it all.