When you have a newborn, your first baby, everything can seem totally overwhelming. I was overwhelmed. There were so many different things on the market. I was 23 with a partner who had already had children and I allowed him to make a lot of the decisions. He was experienced. I was new and naive.
Second time around, I was that bit older, that bit wiser and more internet savvy and I had a lot more mummy friends. It’s now I realise the differences. As well as my different approach to adjusting to a newborn and feeling more confident I came to realise there were things I wanted to do this time that I didn’t even dream of doing with M, one of them being baby wearing.
I didn’t even know what baby wearing was with M, or the benefits of baby wearing. This time I decided I definitely wanted to I’ve it a go. As well as the closeness from wearing J, it also meant my hands would be free to do stuff with M and keep on top of things around the house. What I didn’t bank on was the millions of different choices of carrier and how addictive it could be buying pretties. I wish I had discovered a sling library to try stuff out in, I initially bought a stretch my wrap but couldn’t wrap it for the life of me. This led to me getting a close caboo dx, an easy stretchy but was also their hybrid as its billed as a soft structured carrier. I loved it, it made life easier and J loved being close.
Something else I have done differently this time, thanks to a helpful nudge from my lovely friends Amanda, Kelly and Katie, cloth nappies. Something I wouldn’t have even considered with M because the thought of extra washing and what not scared me half to death.
J was in disposables when he first arrived and no word of a lie, 10 black bags of rubbish happened. With collections happening every two weeks it was staggering! So this started an addiction like no other.
I am cloth nappy obsessed! The fact that is actually hasn’t increased my washing much and my black bag waste is down to 3 bags is a bonus. Include the fact that baby J’s bum is beautiful and clear I’m on to a winner.
Another thing? Baby J is still sleeping in with us. M was hoofed out more or less straight away, which I regret massively now. I love having J in with us. Yes, it can get frustrating when he’s having a particularly bad night but then I generally pull him in to bed with me. It’s lush.
Whilst this post may seem whistful and longing to turn back the clock to do so much more with M, it’s not. What I did with M still stands, it was still super magical but it was overwhelming. This time I’m more assertive, clearer in what I want us to do with the baby. If I could have more I’d have a football team. I am thoroughly enjoying this new part of my parenting journey. It’s made all the more fun by having M along for the ride.
Parenting is scary, there’s no right or wrong. Every choice is individual. Do you know what I do with though? I wish we were all more supportive of each other instead of judging people’s parenting styles. Parenting, like I’ve already said is scary. It can be lonely, it’s a constant guessing game of whether we are doing the right thing. Trust me, you’re doing amazing. Parenting is shit sometimes, but for all the times it sucks, there’s a million reasons why it’s so perfect and amazing.