Time flying by

Where have the past 5 weeks gone?

How do I have a 5 week old baby? So much has changed in a short space of time… Which it would, I mean, I have had a baby.

So, lets reccount it. I gave birth, had a horrendous infection and retained products. I have been housebound for quite a large amount of time. We have had our ups and down. M has adjusted well. Baby J had a nightmare few weeks, until eventually we went to the doctors last week. Baby J has reflux, or at least that’s what we think. He’s been prescribed baby gaviscon and is a totally different baby now. 

He has started smiling and has massive smiles for his big brother. M loves this, although he tends to get in baby J’s face quite a bit requesting he smiles, if no smiles are achieved baby J is subjected to the “pllllleeeeaaaasssseeeeeee” only a child can pull off. To be fair, it usually works. 

G has still be working astronomical amounts, it’s made me quite stressed having to constantly dealing with two, but we are finding a rhythm at last. I’m eternally grateful to my mum and dad though who have been having M for sleepovers and making a huge fuss of him. It helps keep me sane and means M is seeing other people too. 

How am I? Well, I ended up going to the doctors the same time as baby J. The baby blues was hanging around longer than I’d have liked, but it wasn’t just baby blues. The anxiety started, the nightmares returned and the constant paranoia. The snapping and crying and being unbearable all returned. The black dog made his presence known to me and instead of ignoring him, I confronted him. I’m on sertraline now for post natal depression. It knocked me for six to begin with, I’m not going to lie. It made me so tired yet, unable to sleep. It’s still making me so tired but I’ve at least be able to sleep. I had also massively lost my appetite but that seems to be coming back now. I’m feeling a numb but I’m at least able to deal with all the tasks I need to. That counts for something right? 

Seeing these two makes it all okay though. The love they have for each other is amazing. 

We finally got around to registering baby J too, so he’s official now. He’s an actual person on the system. It’s taken us so long due to G working so much but at least it’s done. 

I’ve also celebrated my birthday. It was lovely, spent with my mum and dad. I was thoroughly spoilt. 

This past 5 weeks have been a massive roller coaster of a ride, but I wouldn’t change any of it. My boys are worth it all. 


Chicco launch new nappies! (Review)

Baby J and I were sent an e-mail asking us if we would like to try out some exciting new nappies, you see well known parenting brand chicco have launched nappies here in the UK! 

The Chicco dry fit nappy will be available to buy from 1,200 boots stroes across the UK today! How exciting is that? It seems fitting that Chicco would partner up with boots considering they are both leading the way in expert baby care knowledge. 

We jumped at the chance to give these nappies a try, especially as Chicco are known for their quality. We wanted to see if that transpired into the world of nappies.

Now I really struggled with nappies when it came to M. I like many others flit between brands but this time I seem to have struggled. M had super sensitive skin as a baby so when I found a brand that worked for us I stuck to it. 

Baby J seems to be going the same way in relation to his skin. Poor dab has had terrible nappy rash, so I was really starting to pull my hair out. The chicco dry fit nappies though have a fabric like external lining which is desgined to keep baby’s skin dry. This is something I have definitely found to be true in our test. J’s little bottom has gone from angry and sore to nice and clear. He’s happier during nappy changes now as I imagine nappy rash can be quite sore for littles.

On the whole we have been very impressed with these nappies. The only thing I haven’t really liked is that when he has poo’d you can see it through the nappy. Can that even be a criticism? It hasn’t leaked and has been contained expertly, but I can see when he has poo’d. This has amused M no end as he can see when he has to run away from baby J. M hasn’t quite got the fascination some toddlers do with yellow baby poo.

Baby J does seem to be a heavy night time wetter too, and they have coped remarkably well with that. I have had a good 10/12 hours of dryness. I did switch to my regular nappy half way through the test just to have true comparrison, which funnily enough saw the return of the angry red bottom. I can wholeheartledy agree that they provide maximum dryness.

The nappies start at size 1 and make their way up to size 5, which covers baby all the way through.

The size 1 nappies retail at £4.49 with stages 2 to 5 costing £7.99

We are really happy with how the test has gone and I shall be taking full advantage of the upcoming buy one get one free promotion, which will be available from the 24th June. It seems that chicco really do follow through with their excellent quality. 
Disclaimer: I have been sent these nappies free of charge in order to write an honest review. All opinions are my own.

The world with two

*sigh* I am all better, apparently. I have finished my antibiotics and have been discharged from the midwives. This happened on Monday. Relief at finally being discharged 22 days postpartum. I am feeling physically better. Emotionally I am drained.

I am pretty much exhausted. I have my good days and bad days. The last few days I have been an emotional wreck. G is still working all the hours, I am still housebound from having no car. M has been challenging, whilst brilliant. Baby J has been colicky. He’s been very vomtastic and several times we have had scenes not too dissimilar to the exorcist. I am half expecting to see him crawling up the walls.

Like with two is a challenge. It’s been a steep learning curve. Everyone keeps telling me how well I am doing, which is lovely and reassuring but it doesn’t stop me from feeling like I am floundering. Both boys are being well cared for, I am just tired. Bare bones exhausted. J is sleeping better don’t get me wrong, but they seem to work in tandem, my boys. J has a good night, M has a bad night. M has had several night terrors this last week. It’s ever clearer they are linked to G working nights. If M has a good night, J has a bad night. When M has a bad night I am on my own with no one to help. When J has a bad night I have a very tired G who needs to be up early for work the following day. There is no break.

It’s hard, it’s rewarding, it’s trying… It’s bloody wonderful. How can it be such a rollercoaster… that’s a typical day of feelings. It’s no wonder I am getting a little anxious and feeling my anxiety levels creep up. This happens when I am fatigued. I have had a few nightmares this week and a dose of sleep paralysis, which by the way is utterly terrifying! All of this is connected to lack of sleep. I am keeping an eye on my moods, I was horrendous yesterday. I barely spoke to G, I could barely look at him. He hadn’t done anything wrong apart from sleep through baby J crying. However, when I had been thrown up on for the third time that evening and let out a little cry of frustration he woke up and told me off for waking him up. He doesn’t remember that, but it happened and it got to me. Tiredness is making us both snappy. His from working so much, mine from being the caregiver.

Whilst I have found the last 4 weeks, yes 4 weeks! tough, it’s been amazing too. Seeing M become a wonderful big brother who clearly loves J stupid amounts already. Seeing J change and develop, I don’t care what anyone says, that little boy is giving us little glimmers of his beautiful smile. He has a glint in his eye that hints towards the mischievous. I still can’t comprehend how odd it is referring to my boys. Plural. I love it. I wouldn’t change a thing, I am so thankful to the support I have though and the fact I can have a little moan to people.

Life with two. Chaotic. Exhausting. Worth it.

16 days postpartum 

I am 16 days postpartum and am still under the care of the community midwives. As I write this, I am sat on the postnatal ward awaiting an ultrasound scan. 

5 days postpartum I told the midwife I thought I had an infection and I wasn’t feeling well. One high vaginal swab and prescription later I was on antibiotics. The results of the swab came back showing an infection. Strep C. I had been given a 5 day course of antibiotics and given hope that they would clear it. I finished the anti biotics last Wednesday and full intended on phoning someone but after a truly dreadful night with baby J it escaped me. Thursday was spent being stupidly busy and running around and ignoring pains. Again, I should have phoned. On Friday I was seen by the community midwife who wasn’t happy with me for not phoning. She sent me to the GP who was concerned by the tenderness I was feeling in my tummy, also the fact the uterus hadn’t contracted to where it should be. I was also still not feeling right. After 45 minutes on the phone to numerous people he informed the postnatal ward I was coming up. 

I arrived, I didn’t want to be there. Bloods were done, another high vsginal swab and I was going to be scanned on Monday. The bloods came back normal so I was sent on my way saying that the scan and swab will tell us more. I hadn’t heard anything yesterday so the community midwife phoned the ward who then got a midwife on the ward to phone me… I had two options, either be admitted or come in at 8am Tuesday morning. I obviously opted for the latter. Unfortunately, I had to be assessed by the community midwife first. This led to her once again being unhappy and her telling me I was to be admitted. I packed my bag and a bag for baby J. Off we trundled. We arrived at a little after 6… To be told I may not be admitted… Ffs!!! I had to wait to see a doctor. 12.45am I saw a doctor, the infection is still there. I still need a scan and I was admitted to the ward. 

It is now 1400 and I still haven’t been scanned. I am still unaware of what’s going on and feel I have been forgotten about. I feel like I’m wasting everyone’s time. I’m missing M and I want to be at home. I also desperately want to know what’s going on with my body. I’m on more antibiotics now too. My tummy hurts and I have spent a little while crying. With the luck I have, it was glaringly obvious something had to go wrong after such a good delivery. Marvellous. So that’s where we are. 16 days postpartum. Baby J is thriving and mummy is falling to bit.