Can you tell I’m pregnant?
My emotions are all over the shop, but this is how I’m feeling. I’m feeling down in the dumps. I’m fed up too.
I’ve been poorly with something, won’t lie, I thought it was my body perhaps preparing for imminent labour. Wrong.
Today I saw the midwife and came away feeling so very despondent.
I didn’t feel listened to and felt like I was wasting time again. I had another sweep. It was once again painful. Looking at my notes though there is actually not change to my cervix from when the sweep was done last Thursday. Despite me having lost my plug and getting irregular contractions, no change. Baby isn’t even engaging or engaged. My notes say 4/5 ceph, which according to google means they can feel 4/5 of the head.
I also ended up going to the hospital today because baby’s pattern has changed. I got told off at the hospital for not calling sooner. He was monitored. He’s fine and moving. His heart rate is good. That’s good news.
My tummy is settling. That’s good news. I’ve managed to eat.
I am mostly panicking now. I am so worried that I am going to end up being induced and that I’m going to go through all that trauma again. I’m worried that my body is failing yet again. I am terrified I won’t get the type of birth I want. I am a big bag of emotions at the moment. I’m wanting to hide and not leave the house now.