SPD take over 

I appreciate you’re probably sick of this but dear god have I been in pain today. First I couldn’t get down the stairs, then once down, getting back up them was hard. Literally only just made it to the toilet in time. The there’s been the cramps too. 

Today’s been shitty. 

I’ve cried a lot. I have felt like a horrendous mum pretty much all the time. I’m struggling. I couldn’t take M to preschool today because I knew I couldn’t drive. That makes me feel bad. 

I had to call the OH home from work so he could help. I have been moody and snappy with him through the dsy. I wanted to sleep, he kept telling me it was important to move. Which is it, but I am exhausted. He then had the gaul to say it was partly my fault for wearing flip flops over the weekend. I don’t really see how that’s any different to me going around the house barefoot? So on his recommendation I move, we went in the jeep to buy some bread. I cried going around every corner/roundabout/sharp bend… 

Today’s not been fun, oh and I’ve yet to put my repeat prescription in for painkillers. 

It’s a shame because Saturday and Sunday I spent sat outside in the sunshine watching M play. Yesterday I had a friend pop over for a catch up and it was all lovely. Today has ruined all good feelings. I feel broken. 

I’ve had period like cramps on and off all day which panicked me a bit. Couldn’t get hold of any of the midwives to talk about it so have resigned myself to wait till I see them on Wednesday. 

I’m not enjoying this anymore. 

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