The consultants appointment 

Today didn’t go as I’d hoped. 

He listened, he made the right bodies then he said no. 

He said that because I’m still mobile it can’t be discussed at the moment due to the fact I delivered M. What he’s neglecting is the fact that M should have been an emergency C but luck played a part. 

We can apparently discuss stuff next time I see him 4/5 weeks time, if I’m a lot worse they may induce me at 38 weeks. 

Baby is already 4lb. Exactly the way his brother went. We shall see. I feel exhausted because I worked myself up to get a NO. 

So, I either give up trying to carry on and give in to the fact that I’m struggling. This would mean making it aware to midwife, relying on family, getting it put in my notes or something. God knows. 

I do have to see the midwife next week for a BP check. The machine made it high, I was also +2 for ketones and +1 for protein but he didn’t say anything about that. 

I feel exhausted by all of this already. I also feel scared. Joy. 

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