A little broken

I am tired. So very tired. 

Physically exhausted. I would like to have a good night sleep where I don’t have to worry about what side I lie on. I would like to be able to lie in the bed on my back and not spend 15 minutes trying to get up, or to roll over before I wet myself. 

I want this cough to disappear or at least ease so I can again sleep. 

I’d like my pelvis to not click and crunch and make me feel like my back is breaking. I wish I didn’t have crutches. 

I wish I could switch my brain off from all the fears I have bubbling away. I’m beyond upset that G won’t be able to come to my consultants appointment. We had sorted cover out so he had the day off from work, but the cover has fallen through. This means G will be on a 12 hour day shift. The two casual workers are unable to do it. I’m gutted.

I would like go hide under the duvet for the next 10 weeks and to cry a little and to try not to worry. I would like to sleep, is that too mch to ask at the moment?


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