I actually don’t think it matters how many children you have, the worry and anxiety whilst growing the precious bundle, never goes.
I am now 26+3
I saw the midwife Wednesday of last week and all was fine. I felt good minus the pelvic pain but generally, awesome.
Friday was a day of non stop though. M has gymnastics. He loves gymnastics. OH is exhausted from working so much so I left him in bed, took M and participated a bit less that the week before, but it was still a very active session. Poppy seed kicked me no end, like he normally does. He seems to enjoy gymnastics as much as M does.
We’d also arranged to take M and my little sister swimming to the blue lagoon. We love going there and whilst I was aching a little, I thought I’d be fine. Two paracetamol before swimming definitely helped. I was exhausted though.
Saturday was a day of catch up. I went ott around the house. I seriously caught up on cleaning and bed changing and the like. Poppy seed wasn’t playing ball though. He was quite and didn’t seem right. He did give a few reassuring nudges which made me feel better.
Sunday though, I felt like death out of nowhere. M decided he’d be doctor and was happy to come upstairs with me for a lie down. It was then I realised I hadn’t felt baby move. Panic.
Ice cold water.
Lay on left side.
Shit…. Still nothing.
I decided to phone the maternity unit and see if I could go there for them to check. All I got was a snooty person on the phone who informed me they wouldn’t see me or do anything for me until I am 28 weeks. Phone the community midwife. They finish at 5 hurry.
How helpful. How utterly soul destroying too. I was in distress and cried on the phone and was devastated to have that response.
A quick frantic phone call to the community midwife and she agreed to come see me.
She was brilliant. She listened in to baby and Sod’s law, Poppy seed kicked and went a little mental. I was happy at having heard baby again too. Although when feeling around to work out the best place to listen to baby, my pelvic region was beyond tender. Made me wince. It was agreed that may be the cause of making me feel poorly. Inflammation. I think I’m going to go to the GP tomorrow and get some stronger pain relief. Hopefully then I can get a grip on everything.
The worry never disappears though.
I remember panicking way more with M, I’ve been more relaxed this pregnancy, but the worry never goes.
The anxiety creeps around like a comforter. Swallows you up.
I’ve shirked it off for now. I’d be lost without my family and friends though. Once again, thank you. Thank you for making me feel normal and not getting annoyed at my whinging and panicking.