Dear twinkle of my eye

Dear twinkle of my eye,

Today we could have been meeting you for the first time, or I could have been cursing you and saying you were like your big brother and making me wait to meet you. It wasn’t mean to be though.
You were taken from me too soon, too harshly, too quickly. You were take from me but I loved you. I loved you from the moment that little window showed two lines. I loved the hope, the plans, the wonder. I loved that my body was going to carry another perfect little person. It wasn’t meant to be though.
Today I am mourning for the could have, the should have, the secrets I wished for.
Today I am keeping it together. Today your big brother is kissing me and cuddling me a treat, as if he knows. Today little twinkle of my eye is the first of forever remembering what could have, and what should have been.
I will always love you my little twinkle.
Yours forever,
Mumma.

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3 thoughts on “Dear twinkle of my eye

  1. Emily, this is beautifully and powerfully written. When I read something like this, it reminds me that so many things just DON’T MATTER. Miscarriage is a very real – and emotional – loss. Thank you for so bravely sharing your thoughts and feelings. x

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