Murdered by my boyfriend

This docu-drama aired last week on BBC three from what I can gather. I watched it on the iplayer and felt compelled to write a blog about my thoughts on it.

It’s based on true events, all names have been changed. It highlights how real domestic abuse is and how anyone can become a victim.
The programme was very well made, shocking and very upsetting in parts but that’s the point.
It emphasises that domestic violence doesn’t only have to be acts of violence, there is manipulation, degradation and mind games. Emotional abuse.

I had a conversation with a friend that prompted me to watch it, we both agreed that we preferred it when hit, pushed, kicked because physical wounds heal. Emotional abuse stays with you far longer. Both of us came to the conclusion had a lifeline not emerged we would have ended up dead, if not by their hands, by our own.
We also both agreed that it’s easier said than done to just leave.
It’s crushing and you find excuse after excuse after excuse.
It was my fault.
I upset him.
I pushed him to it.
I deserve it.
It really is my fault.
All words that Ashley said.

Ashley took 4 years to die. In that 4 year period 399 other women had died due to domestic violence. That’s too many women and it makes me crushingly sad.
This docu-drama was much needed, I feel it’s a shame it wasn’t broadcast on bbc1 because it would have reached a much wider audience. I urge everyone to watch it.
It’s left a mark on me. It’s brought back memories I’d rather keep locked away. It’s educating young women on the behaviours associated with domestic violence. It’s real and it happens.

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