This month I read

I’m not usually a link up type of person but this link seemed right up my street. It’s a link by muttering mummy. You can find her fab blog over here
This linky (my kindle keeps trying to put kinky) is about the books you have read this month. This month I have been a bit slow on the reading and have  only managed to read one book.

The book I read this month however is fab. I really enjoyed it. It’s called Mother Mother and is by Koren Zailekas. It’s a thriller that’s is told from three perspectives.

Rose, the possibly crazy teen.
Will, the son blinded by love and Josephine, the other from hell.

I found this is real page turner even though I managed to guess parts of the story, I sit really enjoyed and for a debut novel, it is great.
I found the characters believable and the situation fairly believable. Just how far can someone go to keep up appearances and make everyone think you have the perfect family?

I have started several books recently that I will tell my opinion on next time. I just desperately wanted to join in this time, all be it a rather rushed post and review.
If you like an easy thriller that will keep you on the edge but isn’t too gruesome, this is for you.

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Night terrors

Cold sweat.
Screaming.
Thrashing.
Hitting.
Kicking.
Pulling.
Seeking out a hug.
Crying.
Sobbing.
Screaming.
Thrashing.
Cwtches.
Crying.
Hitting.
Clarity.
Awake.
Talking.
Back to bed.

That’s how it was the night before last and that’s how it was last night minus the clarity, wakefulness and talking.
I have a lovely cut on the inside of my lip and was actually convinced I’d end up with a thick lip as a food connected to my face.
Poor boy. Poor poor boy.
I was tired and scared as I will admit I did shout after he kicked me, and I did place him back in bed. He just pulled the covers up over his face and was quiet, as if nothing happened. I was awake for another hour, worrying in case it happened again.
I have been googling night terrors today and there are many conflicting pieces of advice, from both professionals and sufferers. Some say try wake and comfort, others say let them thrash it out. There seems to be no rhyme nor reason for them. Tiredness can be a factor, so this is what I’m thinking for my beautiful little M.
He’s so tired, we’ve been so busy, he’s been busy and as a result been pushed from pillar to post a little. Routine has vanished. He’s had little holidays with Nanna and Bampie. He’s been out to play, he’s been swimming. It’s all been a bit much I think.
So plan, bath, cuddles, bed. A few early nights and hopefully we can help ease the distress of the terror.
Funny thing is, he’s fine in the morning, I’m the one who is most distressed.

Mood swings and roundabouts

I cry.
I laugh.
I shout.
I go quiet.
I laugh some more.
I sob.

We go out.
I get mad.
I get frustrated.
We laugh.
We hug.
We have fun.
You have a tantrum.
I have a melt down.
We both cry.
We both hug.
We both laugh some more.
We chat.
We leave.
We eat.
You laugh.

I watch.
I FaceTime.
I try to smile.
I try to laugh.
I try to be cheerful.
I get you ready for bed.
You go to bed.
I’m alone.

Mood swings and roundabouts that what I’m all about.
I keep trying and trying and trying but keep going round and around and around.

What am I going to do?
What am I going to achieve?

Mood swings and roundabouts that’s where I’m at.

Stop the world. I want to get off.

Why does it always rain on me

I’m struggling with my mood.
Without going in to too much detail I’m not enjoying work at the moment.
My head has been mangled and as I’ve said many a time I’m a worrier and an over thinker.
I’m struggling to be positive or to look for positives.
I’m tired.
I’m paranoid.
The cracks in the smile are getting bigger.
The time between tears is getting smaller.
I’m struggling and I don’t really know what to do.
I’m not depressed per say, just feeling a bit lost.

The toddler

My toddler is a wonder.
He’s my darling, although he doesn’t want me very much at the moment.
He amazes me, but I worry. I worry far more than daddy does.
M has a temperature: mummy takes temp every few hours to check it’s going down
M has a temperature: daddy says M feels a bit warm so he’s removed a later or two

M doesn’t speak very much: mummy panics and try’s to encourage him to speak
M doesn’t speak very much: daddy says don’t worry he will do in his own time

Two examples above of how, this week mummy and daddy differ.

I am a worrier, daddy is so laid back he if practically on the floor.

M has all of a sudden decided the juice, milk, jeep, sheep, done, gone, mr tumble, dirty, uchy (from me saying ych y fi), water and a few others are going his vocabulary.
Eyes, nose, eye brows and ears are now said as well as pointed to. (The pointing has been happening ages, but I had to say them all, now I shave to “ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhh” and listen.
I am often told no. He answers my questions, he asks for his shoes (that’s another) so he can “go in car” although going in the car is no longer fun it’s all about dees jeep. (Dada is no longer acceptable, it dee, which is daddy, or plain dad when M isn’t being responded too)
Yet I’m terrified his speech isn’t developing at the rate if should be. His understanding is second to non, he can follow complex instructions and can differentiate between his blue jacket and his red coat. He knows what objects are if I ask him to get the dream and his hair brush. He just doesn’t say them.
Am I being over paranoid? I still don’t get called anything (this upsets me) occasionally M will stick d’s in front of everything or b’s.
“Bal bone’ said sounding like all gone.
‘Dream’ for cream
You catch my drift. Not all the time, some if the time.
He can count when I count along with him, but won’t answer when you ask him his age, despite me trying to coach him in this.
I think I’m just a stressy mummy and daddy has the right idea. It will happen when he’s ready, I just don’t like people looking at him like he’s stupid.