I promised myself on Wednesday evening that I would put on my sports bra and get sweaty in my living room.

I waited until the OH was in the shower, and then got my sweat on.

I did my 30 day shred dvd, I went for it hell for leather. I really did become and exceptionally sweaty mess.

It felt good, the endorphins did their stuff, I felt tired too. A different type of tired to what I have been feeling, a satisfying tired. A tired that said ‘tonight you shall sleep well’.

I didn’t sleep well, I had horrendous, sharp as day nightmares. I struggled through yesterday in a bit of a haze. I managed to smile, to plaster on that lovely smile.

I coped.

I didn’t exercise last night as I had a head splitting headache. I have that same headache today, I feel even more tired today. It isn’t a good tired though, this is a suffocating tiredness.

I am on shift tomorrow evening, I am dreading it a little, especially if I have another crappy night of nightmares.

I am getting there slowly.

I have organised the shit out of stuff, I am getting on top of jobs. I am functioning. I am smiling a little, whether or not I mean to.

I am repairing myself slowly. I need to cut myself some slack though, it has only been a week. A week survived though. A week of many more weeks to come.


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