Exhausted

Exhausted. That’s right. On my second or third wind now. Awake for 23 hours working.
Slept for an hour, took other half to work.
Slept for another hour.
Got myself and M ready.
Took him to mums.
Worked.
Picked M up.
Getting M ready for bed.
Pick other half up.
Put M to bed.
Shower, get ready for work.
Urgh! And I’m supposed to try and find time to not collapse in an exhausted heap and motivate myself to keep going. I tell you something for nothing now (that’s very welsh of me!) I almost threw it all down the pan today. I almost said “*^%# it!” I didn’t. Nor will I give up. My little sister came to my rescue and showed me my photos and told me to really look, told me not to throw it away, I’m doing well.
This week has been a big bloody write off really. Between being ill and my crazy work schedule. I’m also expecting to loose weight over night, my expectations suddenly became unrealistic. Must keep focused. Must keep my head in the game. Loosing inches and loosing weight is best done at a steady pace so I can maintain it.
This positive attitude to it all is so hard I bloody maintain sometimes! Argh! I’m fat and I don’t want to be. I want to wave a magic wand and it all be done. Why is it such hard work and why is life getting in the way?!?
On the plus though, my photos have inspired two people in work, I’m buying a copy of 30 day shred for them. They think I’ve done fab, as do many people, why am I failing to see it? Body dis-morphia? But that’s a whole can of worms I won’t open yet.

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