30 day shred day ten

Urgh. Well I’ve done it, that’s the main thing. I had to do level one today though as I don’t think my shoulders would have coped with the walking push ups today. I’m also working on the door tonight and would quite like to be able to move my upper body without wincing, just in case there is an incident.
I didn’t want to do shred today. I forced myself because of being part of shredtober. I want to curl up in a ball and eat chocolate but I won’t.
I’ve cried several times today, today isn’t a good day. I’m quite exhausted both physically and emotionally. I’m feeling even more tired now I’ve done shred. I’d quite happily go to sleep given the chance. There is of course no such luck.
I’m waiting for bloody Mother Nature to turn up but she’s just toying with me. Either arrive or do one when it comes to the cramps! Saying that though, the exercise is helping a little with that pain.
I dunno how I’m really feeling. I’m feeling a bit deflated. I don’t know whether to take a break or just push on through.
I just want a cuddle and some sleep. Then I know I’d be fine.
At the same time I don’t want to take a break as I’m fearful I would just give up. I feel I’ve come too far to give up now.
God I don’t know. I just don’t know. Will it all be worth it? Right now I’m just a tired crying mess. Not because of shred but because of me being a loser.


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